


Small Moments

by Ris116



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, M/M, One Shot Collection, Pining, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:08:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29117256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ris116/pseuds/Ris116
Summary: It’s all about the build up.
Relationships: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts, Harry Beltik/Benny Watts, Harry Beltik/Beth Harmon
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Summer nights in Lexington, Kentucky were always hot. Beth sat on her back patio late one night, drinking lemonade and smoking a cigarette. Smoke swirled around her, temporarily obstructing her view of the clear night sky. The back of her legs stuck to the metal chair and sweat matted a few strands of hair to her forehead. Her skirt and shirt lay discarded just inside the kitchen door. The borrowed men’s shirt she wore hung off her shoulder, allowing the occasional cool breeze to give her respite from the oppressive heat. She sipped her cold lemonade, noting the faint glow from her old bedroom window. 

It was unusually late for the young man that resided in that room to be awake. 11:45pm according to her watch. After dinner, they had gone over a few matches to prepare for Beths next open tournament. They sat outside playing, surrounded by those candles that keep mosquitoes away. Fireflies fluttered around them, illuminating the yard. He told her how when he was a child, he and his siblings would catch them in jars. It made him sad when they would die during the night. She couldn’t picture him a kid, to her, he looked nearly identical to the first time she saw him. 

Beth giggled when he complained about the heat and that he was looking forward to winter. She remember when they went to the lake and he stayed under the umbrella on the beach. He still found a way to get burned, even with sunblock. When the redness subsided, a fine dusting a freckles replaced them across his nose and cheeks. Beth enjoyed that day, being surrounded by handsome boys running around in the sun, shirtless. The same group played and wrestled in the snow last Christmas when everyone gathered at her house. When he returned to the house, he was cold and wet, but laughing. 

His big eyes shone in the candle light, bringing her focus back to the game. It highlighted the hard angles of his face, his high cheek bones and long nose even more noticeable. When he looked at her with his head cocked, he reminded her of an owl. This late into the summer, his curly, dark hair hung into his eyes. He would try to push the offending locks back, but they would just fall back. Over the course of the evening he had been slowly removing his button down. She liked to watch his nimble fingers undoing the buttons on his shirt, shrugging out of it and draping it over the back of the chair. When he went to bed, he had forgotten the blue and white checked shirt. Beth wondered if he would be upset if it ended up in her closet.

She heard the shower run about an hour ago, part of his nightly routine. The small radio they kept in the bathroom would play loudly, but not loud enough to hide that he liked to sing in the shower. His slightly nasally voice didn’t lend well to singing, but Beth supposed that he didn’t think she could hear him. His taste is music was all over the map, but recently he seemed to enjoy the local university station that played all the new rock groups. Mick Jagger and Jim Morrison seemed to have caught the attention of the DJ that night. 

Usually, he would turn the turn off the lights to go to sleep soon after leaving the bathroom. He would wrap a towel low around his waist, unintentionally making Beth stare open mouthed if they crossed paths in the narrow hallway. He was oblivious to this and would avoid eye contact before closing his door. Most nights, she would entertain herself with the imagine of his thin but broad chest and dark trail of hair that disappeared under the towel. 

She wished that he would let her see what was under the towel again. Tonight though, she sat on the patio pining in his shirt. Beth wondered why he hadn’t gone to sleep yet. He could be reading, since she didn’t hear anymore music. She hoped that if he was thinking of her the same way she would think of him. Door locked, stroking himself with his eyes squeezed shut. The towel would be close by, surely. 

Beth stubbed out her cigarette in the ash tray before blowing out the candles. His light was still on as she quietly padded to the sliding glass door. The cement was cool and rough against her feet. Locking the door behind her, she climbed the stairs listening for any sounds in his room. It was silent in the house. Standing at his door listening for sounds had becoming an increasingly common occurrence. This night, like most, there was nothing. She would be sometimes put her ear against the door to hear faint moans. Tonight though, the only unusual thing was the light creeping from under the door. 

She called his name through the door. There was no answer. Beth slowly turned the doorknob and pushed the door in. In the glow of the small light, she could see that he was asleep. The book he had been reading was still in his hand and his legs were tangled in a thin blanket. She closed the door behind her, making her way to the bed. The mattress creaked when she sat next to his sleeping form and set the book on the table. 

Beth laid next to him, being careful to not brush against him. The thin white tee shirt he wore stuck to his skin, outlining the wiry muscle on his ribs. She felt scandalized by how the leg of his red plaid boxers had ridden up on his thigh. His chest rose and fell slowly, inviting her to lay her head on his shoulder. She wondered if he would put his arm around, his strong, thin fingers would curl around her shoulder. Beth stretched out, resting her head on the edge of the pillow next to him. She was close enough to almost feel his soft breathing, if it weren’t for his hands curled in front of his face. 

Beths eyelids suddenly felt heavy in the low light and comfortable warmth of the room. She reached out, gently putting her hands in his curled fingers. Part of her hoped he would wake up, surprised but pleased to see her in his bed. The other part prayed he wouldn’t wake up, wanting to quietly enjoy his soft hands around hers. Something she hadn’t felt in over a year. She felt her face grow hot, recalling the last time they had sex. He had tried to lacing fingers between hers, hoping for some bare minimum of acknowledgment. She had pulled her hand away, wanting him to leave so she could sleep.

Sex had been clinical, both of them feeling physically fulfilled, but wanting emotionally. Kissing was limited and they rarely strayed from missionary. After several minutes of passionless thrusting, she would clench and spasm around him. After a few more moments he would pull out, finishing across her stomach. Wash, rinse, and repeat three to five times per week. After catching his breath, he would wish her goodnight before picking up his clothes and heading back to his room.

She threaded a finger through a dark curl, moving it off his forehead. Beth let the back of her fingers brush against his cheek. She moved closer, their noses almost touching. She wanted to kiss him, to crush his parted lips against his pretty white teeth. Is this how he felt that night? 

Almost as a reflex, she tilted her head and closed her eyes, gently kissing him until she felt his hands leave hers and push her away.

“Beth, what are you doing?” He looked confused as he rubbed his eyes. His large, blue-grey eyes fixed on her.

Realizing what she had done, Beth sat up. “I’m sorry.” What was I thinking? 

“It’s OK.” Harry tucked a lock of red hair behind her ear. “I just wasn’t ready.”


	2. I Don’t Mind the Rain

Beth awoke to the pitter patter of rain on the windows and soft breathing against the back of her neck. The day outside was going to be stormy and cold, unusually so for early October. Beth suspected that the trip that she, Harry, the twins, and Townes had planned to take to Keeneland would be cancelled. She doubted they would want to stand in the mud around the track waiting for the races to start. 

Beth felt Harry move behind her, burying his face further into her hair and pillow. He was curled around her, with his chest pressed against her back and arm draped over her waist. Beth had come to enjoy waking up next to her tall, skinny boyfriend. On cold mornings like this, she appreciated his warm body next to her and the safety of his arms around her. She had begun to enjoy how he liked to cuddle after sex or hold her hand when they were reading together. Beth liked their quiet life together. 

Sleepy mornings like this were rare. Typically, Harry would have been up and quietly having coffee on the porch. He would be sitting in his usual spot with a book or a newspaper with his legs awkwardly crossed under him. Beth heard him murmur something quietly in his sleep and hold her tighter. What was he dreaming about? She was reluctant to wake him up, relishing the way their legs felt tangled together.

“Harry.” she whispered, hoping not to startle him. Beth felt him sigh and respond with a sleepy but curt, no. 

“We need to get up.” She said sweetly.

Beth heard a muffled “why?” come from behind her, followed by a yawn.

She turned around slowly, as not to make him move his arm from around her. Beth gently brushed her lips against Harry’s. The corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk.

“I know you’re awake.” She walked her fingers up his side and kissed him with more force. 

Harry squinted at the window, then focused on her. “Can’t we just stay in bed?”

He rolled onto his back, stretching his arms and legs. When he did that, he reminded Beth of a cat waking up from a long nap. She laid her head on his chest, the black Jefferson Airplane tee shirt that he wore to sleep was soft against her cheek. He ran a hand through her hair, twirling it around his fingers.

“I guess we can stay in bed for a little bit longer.” Beth murmured, breathing in his smell. Coffee and their laundry detergent and something else that was distinctly him. She couldn’t place it, but it was comforting. She hiked her leg up over his and pulled herself closer. 

“Only a little longer?” Harry asked. “Do you suddenly have new plans for us?”

“I mean, I have some plans, but they don’t require us to leave the house.” Beth said coyly. She looked up at him with with her large brown eyes.

“I hope it’s alternating between reading and napping.” He ran his fingers though her hair and massaged her head. 

Beth closed her eyes. Maybe Harry had a point, maybe they should just lay in bed cuddled together for as long as they wanted. Under the blanket was warm and for once, Harry didn’t have to go to the engineering lab early in the morning. He didn’t have to work all weekend, she remembered. She would have him all to herself this weekend. No schoolwork or applying to graduate school or work. 

“I don’t care what we’re doing.” Beth murmured into his shirt. “I just want to spend time with you. I feel like you’ve been so busy the last month that I’ve barely talked to you.”

“I know.” Harry took her hand, lacing her small fingers into his. “It’s been a lot, but you have my full attention now.”

Harry tipped Beths face up to his, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was soft and sweet. The first time he kissed her, she had thought it was too gentle. She had expected something more intense and passionate, like Margaret and her boyfriend in the library. 

With time though, she realized that Harry liked a slower burn. Soft and gentle kisses, after a few minutes, would deepen with tongue and teeth. They spent the first few weeks after the new year rekindling their relationship and avoiding sex. They would make out on the couch keeping their hands above the waist and over their clothes. There were several nights they would be left panting and uncomfortable, avoiding eye contact with each other. 

Beth felt Harry bite her lower lip before flipping her on her back, kneeling between her legs. She tugged his shirt over his head, allowing her to run her hands down his chest. Her eyes followed the trail her fingers left behind, noting the dark dusting of hair over wiry muscle. 

He kissed down her neck, nibbling down her collar bone before pulling down the thin straps of her light blue nightie and exposing her breasts. Her pink nipples hardened in the cold morning air, inviting Harry to bite and pinch them. Beth moaned loudly every time his tongue tweaked her sensitive nipples. Harry pulled her nightie down from around where it was bunched at her waist around her hips and onto the floor. Her underwear followed before he disappeared under the blanket.

Flushed, Beth smiled. “Is this why you wanted to wanted to stay in bed longer?”

“Maybe.” He kissed down her stomach. Beths back arched in anticipation. “Even though, I don’t think it’s going to take long to accomplish what I want to.”

Harry continued to kiss between her thighs, teasing her as he used his thumb to rub circles into the small bundle of nerves hidden in red curls. Her hips bucked against his mouth when he gently sucked on her clit while he worked his long, thin fingers into her. Beth pushed the blanket off, allowing a rush of cool air to hit her naked body. She grabbed a fist full of curly dark brown hair, rolling her hips against his curled fingers. Harry heard his name, over and over again as the way she moved became more erratic. She spasmed, crying out one last time before relaxing. 

“I hope you don’t feel ignored anymore.” Harry laid back down next to her, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He grabbed the discarded blanket from the foot of the bed, pulling it over Beth as she shivered. 

“You’ve gotten a lot better at that.” She smiled at him.

“I take pride in being a fast learner.”

Beth turned on her side, pressing herself against Harry and fiddled with the elastic of his tented boxers. She watched his eyes close and lips part just slightly in anticipation. He wanted so desperately for her to kiss him or touch him. Teasing Harry was one of her favorite things to do. She would let her fingers graze the inside of legs or play with the waistband of his boxers. Just long enough to make him beg.

“You’re cruel, Beth.” Harry said in a low whine. 

Beth slid her hand down the front of his boxers, wrapping her fingers around his cock. She thought of Benny, where he had been blessed with experience, Harry was lucky in other ways. She stroked up and down slowly, all while nibbling a small pink line down his neck. Suddenly, he pushed Beth away to quickly shimmy out of his boxers.

She remembered their first time together, after she grabbed him by the wrist and led him to her bed. They awkwardly fumbled in the dark for belts and buttons, both of them not virgins but very clearly lacking experience. They had come so far from forced intimacy of the previous summer. 

Beth had sucked a large red spot under his collarbone that would certainly bruise, before climbing on top of him. She kissed down his chest and stomach, stopping just shy of his bellybutton before licking the small beads of pre-cum from the head of his erection. He let out a strangled moan as she took him further into her mouth. He watched her head bob up and down on his cock, resisting the urge to bury his hands in her hair. 

“Beth, please.” Harry was breathless. “I’m so close.” 

She continued working her hand around him where her mouth couldn’t reach all while swirling her tongue around the tip. Harry’s pleading continued, growing louder as she sucked. Her jaw was getting tired when he finally came, salty and bitter down the back of her throat. 

Beth looked up at Harry, crawling up to lay on the pillow next to him. His cheeks were flushed a lovely pink that extended to the top of his chest. Beth ran a finger down the bridge of his nose, making him open his eyes. They were big and reminded her of the sky on a hazy day. Big and blue and grey at the same time. He smiled, his teeth were pretty and white even if the two in the front were still a little too long. 

“What are you looking at?” He asked her quietly. 

“Your goofy face.” She rested her head on his chest. “I could look at it all day.”

Harry was quiet. He wasn’t very good at accepting complements. Beth looked up at him again, pecking him on the cheek.

“I love you, Beth.” He said quietly. “You don’t have to respond. I don’t expect you to, I just needed to say it.”

Beth stayed laying next to him, clutching the blanket to her chest. She stared at him, wide eyed. Do I love him? I feel comfortable around him and I always want him around. I miss him when I travel for tournaments. Shit, I miss him when he’s at school. I would be heartbroken if he left again... I would be devastated. Her mind raced. Memories of that rainy July day came rushing back. He left and her world collapsed around her. Did I love him then and was too high to know it? 

She remember walking back up the stairs, forgetting breakfast, and laying in the made bed. Tears had streamed down her face as she clutched a pillow to her chest. It smelled like coffee, and her laundry detergent that he would steal, and something that was distinctly and comfortingly him. She silently cried for hours, wishing that the phone would ring and he would beg to come back. Or he would call saying he had forgotten something, the plain white tee shirt she had found under her bed. A pair of socks. She could talk him back into staying. 

It never came. 

She remembered hearing his voice when she was in Russia and quietly allowing herself to cry. He still cared about her after all the terrible things she had said. When she returned, she hugged him extra long at the airport, likely angering Benny. The party at Bennys apartment was one to remember. Even though drinks flowed, she made sure to stick to pop and water. She watched Harry share several strange looking cigarettes with Cleo that made him very giggly. The way Cleo openly flirted with him made her angry. It filled her with rage when he would flirt back.

After everyone had fallen asleep that night, a little tipsy and high, she dragged her small pile of pillows and blankets next to him. Even if he wasn’t entirely aware of it, she buried her face into the back of his neck. Coffee, her laundry detergent, and something uniquely him. When Beth woke up the next morning, her head was on his pillow. Their noses nearly touched and she wanted to quickly kiss him. He would never know.

She held his hand the whole drive back to Lexington, not caring if Matt and Mike noticed or that his hands were cold. They went ice skating on Valentines Day and Beth spent more time clutching the side of the rink than skating. They spent the night of March 13th watching a double feature and making out at the drive in theater. The windows had begun to fog by the end of the first movie, blocking their view. Harry insisted that it was a good start to 24. 

When he moved back in with her in August, she was elated. She cleared out space in her closet and drawers for him, got his favorite foods. They set up his record player first, blasting The Rolling Stones, and Miles Davis, and Johnny Coltrane. They danced until the early hours of the morning.

Beth remembers the first night they spent together. They had been standing at the sliding glass door, hand in hand, watching the snow fall. She didn’t remember how she had let Harry back her against the table, but she liked it. He pulled the soaked fabric of her panties aside before asking if she wanted to have sex. Beth only responded by guiding him into her and wrapping her legs around him. They came quickly and violently. He held her so tightly when she insisted that he stay in her bed. Their bed. When she turned the lights off and was sure he was asleep, she let herself cry. She cried in relief and happiness. Beth felt tears prick her eyes again. Nearly a years worth of memories flooded her mind telling her what she already knew. 

“I’m sorry Beth,” Harry looked sad. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No,” she rubbed her eyes. “Don’t be sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. It’s too soon-“

“Harry, shut up.” She took a deep breath. “I love you too.” 

“I don’t want you to say it just because you feel like you have to.”

“When you left last year, I was devastated. I missed you so much.” She stopped to rub her eyes again, wetting the back of her hand. “I didn’t know why I was so heart broken.”

“I don’t want you to cry.” He sat up to hold her, pressing his stubbly cheek against her back. 

Beth shook trying to hold back a sob “Everyone always ends up leaving.”

“I’m not leaving you Beth. You’re stuck with me.” He took a breath and wiped a stray tear off her cheek. “No more crying.”

Beth sniffed and shifted to snuggle under the blanket with Harry. Being next to him was comforting and warm, something that she had come to love about him. She felt his eyes on her, silently watching her to make sure she was calming down. His arm snaked around her, holding her closer. His pale fingers found her hair again, raking out any knots that had formed during the night. He kissed the top of her head. 

“Are you alright?” Harry asked her quietly. “Why were you crying?”

Beth shook her head. “I’m good. I promise.” She stopped. “Just a lot of memories.”

Harry shook his head, silently telling Beth that he understood. She took his hand, lacing her delicate fingers into his. Her eyes were heavy and wanted to close. The rain continued to tap rhythmically on the window as she drifted off to sleep.


	3. Make Me Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cleo was right about two things: hungry people are bad in bed and that two men are better than one. Beth is willing to supervise a trial period to make sure they get along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all wanted Benny/Harry.

Benny and Harry were the ones to meet Beth at the airport. Benny immediately pulled her into a hug, picking her up and swinging her around. Beth hugged him tightly before wiggling free and focusing her attention on Harry. He had been hanging back, waiting to see how Beth would react. She threw her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. 

“Welcome home Beth.” He said quietly.

Benny loudly cleared his throat, “Everyone else is at the apartment waiting.”

“Matt and Mike wanted it to be a surprise,” Harry stopped to smile. “So pretend to be surprised.”

They picked up her bags and walked out to the snowy parking lot to Bennys light blue Volkswagen. Beth was happy to be back with her friends and to celebrate. A real celebration, not the stuffy formal one they held in Moscow. It was lovely getting to know Borgov and his family, but she wanted nothing more than to be with her family. Her chosen family. 

She watched Benny and Harry get into front seat. Harry pulled off his grey and navy blue hat by the pom pom. Benny followed suit, setting his cowboy hat on Harrys knee. In unison, they both ran their hands through their hair. 

“How was the trip” Benny asked. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag. Harry cracked open a window to let the smoke out.

“It was quiet. Moscow is beautiful.” she snatched the cigarette from Bennys fingers. “But after a week of borscht I’m happy to be back stateside.”

“Please tell me you ate more than beet soup.” Harry laughed from the passenger seat. 

“I mostly ate cold beet soup all week. And some crackers.”she felt her stomach growl thinking about what food they might have at the apartment.

The three of them chatted about Moscow and the trip until they reached Bennys neighborhood. Benny circled the block looking for a parking spot.

It was a short walk from the car to the apartment. She followed Benny and Harry down the stairs quietly, bracing herself for the small crowd of people hoping to surprise her. Benny turned the key in the lock, opening the door into the dark apartment. They stepped inside to silence. Benny flicked the lights on. The living room was empty.

“Maybe they went to get food?” Harry asked, genuinely confused. He put down Beths bag and unzipped his dark olive green jacket. He stuffed his hat in his pocket. Beth hopped down the small stairs, surveying the apartment. It was clear that people had recently been there. Cups of coffee and tea were half drunk on the table and counter. There were random pairs of shoes in the corners. 

She noticed that Benny and Harry were hanging back near the door when she heard the bedroom door burst open. She was swarmed by the gaggle of boys all cheering her name and yelling surprise. Out of the corner of her eye, Cleo emerged and went to stand with Harry and Benny. She was as beautiful as ever. Beth watched as she handed Harry a drink, running a slender hand down his arm. 

“Alright, alright.” Benny broke up the crowd around her. “Where is the pizza?”

As quickly as Matt and Mike pulled the pizza boxes from under a threadbare blanket, they were gone, washed down with whiskey and beer. Beth adhered to water and coffee. Cleo passed a joint between her, Benny, and Harry before pulling her aside.

“How did you manage to convince all these boys to pull this off for you?” She sipped something a paper cup. 

“They did it on their own.” 

“They must really love you.” She looked over Beths shoulder. “Benny and Harry more than the others, I think.”

Beth went red with the suggestion. “I don’t know what you mean Cleo.”

“Benny is a chatty drunk. And he likes to talk a lot of shit.” She took another sip. 

“What did he tell you?”

“He could not understand how you could break up with him.” Cleo giggled. 

“Does he know about Harry?” 

“If he does, I don’t think he cares.” Cleo paused, thinking. “Why do you care anyway? You broke both of their hearts.”

Beth was silent, avoiding Cleos eyes before she started again. “You wish you hadn’t though. Even though you know you can’t choose.”

Her eyes were trained on Benny and Harry playing speed chess in the corner. The other boys were crowded around them, silently watching. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You cannot be so dense, chéri.” Cleo sighed deeply. “You don’t have to choose between them. I also would put money on them enjoying each other too.”

Beth blushed, picturing them together. She doubted that sweet, innocent Harry would be interested. Harry, who would initiate sex, but not want to turn the light on. Benny would break him. The idea of him bent over Bennys shitty kitchen table was enough for her to feel warmth between her legs. Cleo kissed her on the cheek before checking out what the boys were yelling about. 

Harry had beaten Benny. The bottle of whiskey was also nearly empty. Benny took a swig from the bottle handing it to Harry, who finished it. Beth wondered if Cleo was on to something. She noticed the way Harry’s fingers lingered on Bennys. Her thoughts wandered to mental images of soft kisses and pale skin.

Beth knew well that sexuality existed on a spectrum. She vaguely remembered her night in Paris with Cleo. How her perfume smelled and how hard it was to take off her bra. She mentally forgave Harry for his clumsy fingers. Beth remembered Townes roommate Rodger and the way they looked at each other. Benny had told her about the times he was with another man. She doubted that Harry had been kissed by anyone but her. 

For a few more hours, she helped entertain the group. They played chess and chatted. Townes even made an appearance before convincing the very drunk twins to head back to the hotel with him. Cleo, Arthur, and Hilton followed them soon after. 

“Did you have fun?” Benny asked her, placing his hand on her shoulder.

“I did,” Beth smiled. “Thank you for everything Benny.”

“I would make sure you thank him too.” Benny gestured to Harry, who was digging though his backpack. “He was worried about you and called.”

“I didn’t think he would want anything to do with me after I yelled at him.” Beth looked at the floor.

“Well, I had to convince him to come up here.” Benny whispered. “I also had to convince him to stay for this.”

“Why did he want to go back to Lexington?”

“Well, when you tell someone that they’re a loser for trying to sort their shit out,” he lit a cigarette. “they probably aren’t going to be too keen on spending time with you.”

Beths heart dropped. She had tried to block that day out of her memory. 

“He’s a good guy Beth, you need to talk to him.”

She knew that. She didn’t need Benny to tell her that, but after being awake for nearly two days, she needed sleep. Beth leaned against the counter sipping some tea, watching the two men. Benny had changed out of his shirt into that silk kimono that he had certainly stolen from his mother. Harry was in the back corner of the apartment, resetting a board before casually moving a white pawn. Benny moved a black piece before handing Harry his own cup of tea.

She had always enjoyed observing other people. The way they interacted with the world around them fascinated Beth. Benny and Harry seemed to quietly move around each other, communicating through small gestures. _Here’s a cup of tea or a shot of whiskey. I’ve got the door. If you wash, I’ll dry._ Beth felt like she was intruding. 

Beth yawned, she was likely over analyzing the situation. Sleep deprivation was making her see what she wanted to see, to comfort herself over what she saw as a mistake. _At least they’re getting along. Which is surprising._

“I don’t think anyone has slept much in the last few days.” Harry said from the corner. He checked his watch.

“You can take my bed Beth,” Benny smirked. “I’ll stay out here.”

Beth dragged her bag to the dark room in the back of the apartment. It was small and poorly lit with an old mattress on the floor. The sheets looked new and clean though, and the bed was made for her with a warm blanket and a fluffy pillow. As she opened her suitcase, she watched Benny and Harry in the other room. They moved a pile of pillows and blankets to a corner with a black sleeping bag. She changed, swapping her light pink sweater and wool pants for her white pajamas. When she looked into the living room, the boys had settled into the small nest had created in the corner. Harry sat with his back against the wall, reading a thick book. Benny was engrossed in the game they were slowly playing through.

“Thanks for everything guys.” Beth hugged them both, placing a small kiss on their cheeks. Harry turned red. “Sleep well.”

Beth padded to the small bedroom and settled in the bed, leaving the door cracked behind her. She could see Benny and Harry clearly though the crack, before falling asleep.  
—————————————————————————————————

“Benny,” Harry sighed. “She’s not interested in me. You two are much better matched. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Beth and I are pretty much the same person, but that doesn’t mean that you can be in a relationship.” Beth opened one eye, watching them. “I mean, the sex was great, but I can’t handle her when she drinks.”

_I haven’t had a drink in three months. I flushed all my pills._

They were sat opposite each other. Harry was sat with his back to the corner, his upper body obscured by the armchair. She could only see his long legs clad in red and white stripped pajama bottoms. Benny still wearing his well worn jeans. 

“And you love her anyway.” Harry sounded defeated. 

“She seemed pretty damn happy to see you.” Benny leaned forward. “What went wrong anyway? You seem nice, you’re not horribly ugly.”

“I don’t know actually.” Harry stopped. “When things were good, it was perfect. I thought she was happy. But when it was bad, it was because she was taking those pills. Or drinking. She was incredibly mean then. I got to a point where I couldn’t watch another person I care about destroy themselves.”

“Wait, so you left?” Benny seemed confused. Beth mentally kicked herself. _I made it sound like I kicked him out._

“Yeah and I regret it.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Before Benny spoke up. “Did you ever tell her?”

“I tried to, but she knew what I was going to say so she immediately changed the subject.” Harry replied.

“You’re braver than me.” 

Listening to this filled Beth shame and frustrated her. She wished their conversation was all lies, jilted men that were upset over a break up, but it wasn’t. It hurt her that after her cold and selfish behavior, they still loved her. Harry stood up from the corner finally, disappearing from view to get some water. He handed Benny a glass. 

“At least the sex was fun?” Benny raised his eyebrows.

Harry shot Benny the dirtiest look she’d ever seen him give. “The sex was fucking terrible.”

_This is where I die of embarrassment. In my exes bed, listening to him talk to my other ex about our bad sex._

Benny gave Harry a strange look, raising an eyebrow at him and smiling softly. “What was bad about it?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Benny rocked onto his knees, closing the small gap between he and Harry. “I would like to know.” Beth watched Benny press his lips against Harrys. She was sure she let out a small gasp that would have been clearly audible had they been listening.

Benny pulled away, leaving the other man wide eyed. “Judging by the look you’re giving me, you’ve never done that.” 

Harry’s face softened. “No, I haven’t.” He stopped, biting his lip. “Did Cleo talk to you? Is that what this is about?”

“She did, and it’s an attractive idea. Don’t tell me you’re getting possessive.” 

“I’m not,” Harry looked toward the bedroom. “this is all new, that’s all.”

Benny scooted closer to Harry, putting his hand on his leg. “New isn’t a bad thing.”

Beth watched Benny kiss him again, it was sweet and gentle. His thumb traced Harrys sharp cheekbone before burying his hand in his hair. Harry seemed hesitant and unsure of how to process what was happening. Beth read pleasure on his face, as well as uncertainty. He touched his fingertips to Bennys chest, briefly, before pulling his hand away. He eventually let it rest there. Beth began to hear soft moans and the memory of her time with each of them came back to her. She slowly slid her hand down the front of her pants, running her fingers through wetness.

Bennys tongue flicked at Harrys lips, demanding entrance as he pulled him closer. Instinctively, Harry ground his hips against Bennys before pulling him down. They were all knees and elbows, pretty blue-grey eyes and soft blonde hair. Benny shrugged out of his robe before pulling at the hem of Harry’s plain white tee shirt. They only broke their kiss briefly to remove the offending item of clothing. 

Benny ran his hand up Harrys chest, still straddling his hips. Beth wondered if Benny liked how warm and soft his skin was and if Harry liked how Bennys hair felt. Beth continued to watch them, massaging the small bundle of nerves between her legs. She imagined Harrys long fingers inside her again, and Bennys tongue again her clit. Beth remember what Cleo told her, that two men were better than just one. 

As Beth worked her fingers inside herself, she heard heavy, ragged breathing from the living room. Benny was kneeling between Harrys open legs, pressing his visible erection against Harrys. He pushed his jeans down to his ankles before kicking them off, discarding them in the pile of clothing. Benny hooked his fingers into the elastic of Harrys pajamas and boxers, slowly pulling them to around his knees. 

“You fucked Beth with that?” Benny stared down at Harrys erection. 

Harrys lips were pink, his eyes were big and shiny as he looked at Benny, confused. “Is something wrong?” He propped himself on his elbows.

Benny fixed his wide, brown eyes on Harry, running his fingers along the inside of his thigh. “That’s a weapon, Beltik.”

Beth watched Harry stifle what would have been a loud moan as Benny firmly wrapped his fingers around his cock. He pressed his forehead against Harrys, watching his hand move up and down the other mans erection. Benny took Harrys wrist, guiding his hand between them. 

Beth wanted them to notice her, but they were lost in each other. She felt envious of how they didn’t need to break their kiss to tell the other how to be touched. Her fingers moved faster.

Harry seemed to be growing more comfortable with the idea of being intimate with Benny. He kissed him hard, pulling him down into the pile of pillows and blankets. He let his legs fall open, smiling up at Benny, inviting him in. He rocked against him, the motion pushing Harrys erection against his flat stomach. It sprang back, leaving a thin strand of precum behind.

Benny thrust against the other man again, and then again. He kept going until Harry cried out loudly. Had she been asleep, it would have woken up her. Beth tightened around her fingers, watching Harry cum across his fingers and stomach. He kept Bennys cock clutched against his, shaking from overstimulation. Benny wrapped his hand around Harrys, continuing to move his hips against their closed fists. Harry twitched hard, again, grinding his hips up against Benny. That sent Benny over the edge, quietly bucking his hips until he finished on Harry stomach. Beth mewled into the pillow, trying to stifle her orgasm. She spasmed around her fingers.

Benny rolled to his side, propping himself on his elbow to look at Harry, who was still catching his breath. His pale skin was a deep pink and was shiny with a thin sheen of sweat. The black of his pupils taking over most the blue of his eyes, that were fixed blankly on the ceiling. 

“You ok Beltik?” Benny asked as he used a discarded tee shirt to clean Harry up. 

Harry only nodded, his eyes now closed.

“That was pretty intense.” He pushed the sticky shirt into the pile of laundry. “Especially for your first experience.”

“I really liked it.” Harry looked up at Benny, pupils still dilated and lips slightly parted, but smiling. Beth heard Cleo in her head. She like to use the phrase **well fucked**.

Harrys boxers and pajamas were trapped around the ankle of one of his still bent legs. He didn’t seem to bothered though, a stark contrast to their time together. He wasn’t even trying to pull the blanket up over himself. There was something delicious about their unabashed nakedness. Beth wasn’t sure if it was because they were unaware of her watching them or simply the way they were stretched out in the cushions for anyone to walk in and see. She wished for a camera.

“What are going to do if Beth wakes up before us?” Harry asked disappointedly. “We should get dressed.”

Benny began to reach for his jeans when Harry threw the red stripped pants to him. “You’re not wearing dirty pants.” 

——-——————————————————————————————

Beth woke up again later for water. She tip toed out to the living room, careful not to make noise. Harry could sleep through a bomb going off, but Benny was a light sleeper. As she turned the water on, she turned to watch them.

Benny stirred briefly at the sound, quietly groaning against Harrys back. That intimacy was something she wasn’t able to give either of them. _Hold me while I sleep. I want to wake up next to you._ Benny would never admit to desiring such tenderness. She padded back to the bedroom, smiling back sweetly at them. 

Maybe this time, she would be better. For both of them.

—————————————————————————————————

The smell of scrambled eggs, bacon, and coffee woke Beth up. Sunlight streamed through the basement window, reflecting off the ice that coated the bushes in front of them. There was laughter in the kitchen and the sound of plates being moved. 

Beth quietly padded to the door, hoping to catch them one last time before they knew she was up. They were both standing at the stove, Benny still wearing Harrys pajama bottoms. In a rush to get dressed, Harry had grabbed Bennys jeans from the night before. They seemed unfazed about last nights events, there was no awkwardness between them. Beth quickly dressed in jeans and black turtle neck before leaving the room. 

“Well good morning.” Beth wiggled herself between them, wrapping her arms around their waists. “Did you two do anything fun after I went to sleep?” 

Harry turned away, blushing. “No. Just read.” He busyed himself with making more coffee. Benny stayed quiet.

“I could have sworn I heard some strange noises.” She smiled up at Benny. 

“Probably the neighbors. They keep some pretty strange hours.” Benny expertly deflected Beths comment.

“Did you two sleep well at least? Hopefully it wasn’t too cold for you.” She turned her attention to Harry again, who was suddenly aware of his choice of clothing. She ran her hand up his back. 

“There were plenty of blankets.” Harry rubbed the back of his head, smiling.

“Well that’s good.” Beth grasped the collar of Harrys shirt, pulling his face to hers. She kissed him. “I was cold all by myself.”

Beth turned to Benny, kissing him lightly.“Do you think we can all fit in your bed?”


End file.
